Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.
Martin Golding
All computers wait at the same speed.
Unknown
A misplaced decimal point will always end up where it will do the greatest damage.
Unknown
A good programmer looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
Unknown
A computer program does what you tell it to do, not what you want it to do.
Unknown
"Intel Inside" is a Government Warning required by Law.
Unknown
Common sense gets a lot of credit that belongs to cold feet.
Arthur Godfrey
Chuck Norris doesn’t go hunting. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Unknown
Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice.
Unknown
C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success.
Unknown
Beta is Latin for still doesn’t work.
Unknown
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
Unknown
Artificial Intelligence usually beats natural stupidity.
Unknown
Any fool can use a computer. Many do.
Ted Nelson
Unknown
Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
Martin Luther King Junior
Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.
Unknown
God is real, unless declared integer.
Unknown
First, solve the problem. Then, write the code.
John Johnson
Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
Oscar Wilde
Every piece of software written today is likely going to infringe on someone else’s patent.
Miguel de Icaza
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Unknown
Computers do not solve problems, they execute solutions.
Unknown
I have NOT lost my mind—I have it backed up on tape somewhere.
Unknown
If brute force doesn’t solve your problems, then you aren’t using enough.
Unknown
Unknown
Unknown
Keyboard not found...Press any key to continue.
Unknown
Life would be so much easier if we only had the source code.
Unknown
Mac users swear by their Mac, PC users swear at their PC.
Unknown
Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. "No" is the answer.
Unknown
MS-DOS isn’t dead, it just smells that way.
Unknown
Only half of programming is coding. The other 90% is debugging.
Unknown
Pasting code from the Internet into production code is like chewing gum found in the street.
Unknown
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
Unknown
Profanity is the one language all programmers know best.
Unknown
The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.
Unknown
The nice thing about standards is that there are so many to choose from.
Unknown
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t.
Unknown
There is no place like 127.0.0.1
Unknown
There is nothing quite so permanent as a quick fix.
Unknown
There’s no test like production.
Unknown
To err is human, but for a real disaster you need a computer.
Unknown
Ubuntu is an ancient African word, meaning "can’t configure Debian"
Unknown
UNIX is the answer, but only if you phrase the question very carefully.
Unknown
Usenet is a Mobius strand of spaghetti.
Unknown
Weeks of coding can save you hours of planning.
Unknown
When your computer starts falling apart, stop hitting it with a Hammer!
Unknown
Who is General Failure? And why is he reading my disk?
Unknown
You can stand on the shoulders of giants OR a big enough pile of dwarfs, works either way.
Unknown
You start coding. I’ll go find out what they want.
Unknown
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Douglas Adams
I think we agree, the past is over.
George W. Bush
In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different.
Coco Chanel
In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes.
Andy Warhol
In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.
Robert Frost
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
Douglas Adams
It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.
Walt Disney
Java is to JavaScript what Car is to Carpet.
Chris Heilmann
Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.
Voltaire
Just don’t create a file called -rf.
Larry Wall
Francis Bacon
Let’s call it an accidental feature.
Larry Wall
Linux is only free if your time has no value.
Jamie Zawinski
Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.
Bill Gates
Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window.
Steve Wozniak
Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition.
Monty Python
On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog.
Peter Steiner
One man’s constant is another man’s variable.
Alan J. Perlis
People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.
Faith Resnick
Perl - The only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption.
Keith Bostic
PHPaughty by PHPature
The future is here. It is just not evenly distributed yet.
William Gibson
The greatest performance improvement of all is when a system goes from not-working to working.
John Ousterhout
Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free.
Linus Torvalds
Sour, sweet, bitter, pungent, all must be tasted.
Chinese Proverb
Whole Earth Catalog
The artist belongs to his work, not the work to the artist.
Novalis
The only "intuitive" interface is the nipple. After that it’s all learned.
Bruce Ediger
The only completely consistent people are the dead.
Aldous Huxley
The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back.
Unknown Author
The three great virtues of a programmer: laziness, impatience, and hubris.
Larry Wall
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
Douglas Adams
When debugging, novices insert corrective code; experts remove defective code.
Richard Pattis
Joshua Bloch
Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen.
Edward V Berard
Aristotle
We have always been shameless about stealing great ideas.
Steve Jobs
You can kill a man but you can’t kill an idea.
Medgar Evers
You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
Scott Adams
You must have chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Without requirements or design, programming is the art of adding bugs to an empty "text" file.
Louis Srygley
Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday’s code.
Dan Salomon
You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.
Wayne Gretzky
One of the biggest problems that software developers face is that technology changes rapidly. It is very hard to stay current.
Vivek Wadhwa
Jason Santa Maria
Developer: an organism that turns coffee into code.
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